im sorry
I know I shouldn't apologize,
But this is what I have to say,
I can't pretend everything is okay
I'm sorry,
That I bring you down,
From your unrealistic joy world
Where everyone and everything is smiles,
Not a tear, not a frown
I'm sorry
That you don't listen to me
I don't now why you do,
But I guess that's the way it's ought to be
All the words I say don't matter,
And all the while I get sadder and sadder
I'm sorry,
That I can't help but feel the loneliness,
In my heart
All the wonderful times we have shared,
Have grown apart
But I can't help but feel betrayed
All those years I've known you,
And you still don't know me at all
I'm sorry,
That the world has turned its back on me,
And that everyone looks the other way
Rejected, confused even when I'm with a group
It's just another set,
That I'm too tired to choose
I'm sorry,
I know I shouldn't apologize,
Because,
I've wasted your time
And most of all...
MINE.as go through this poem, i feel like it's me telling it "this Someone" who betrayed me.
im a true friend to those who are true and trustworthy.
im a total shit to those who deserve to be treated like one.i value my friends so much!
i've been keeping this "anger" inside of me for quite a long time already.
and maybe through this, i can breath smoothly and eventually let go of my anger one day.
i am even afraid to publish this for she might read this. but maybe, it will be God's will and maybe, MAYBE she'll understand and accept.
we have been friends for almost 7 months already. we have this great connection even from the start. we've got lots of common. we understand everything in almost the same prospective. we love our company. i understood everything about her, from her family down to her love issues. she's a person who doesn't want attention in a huge crowd. she hides herself. she's a loner. she prefers just staying in a room alone than walking around or staying in a group. she love the company of boys [HELL YEAH!] she says that boys are even cool to be with because they can accept who you are. boys do not back stab. boys dont make issues. i agree with that. [i really do]
this closeness she had with the boys brought her to be someone i didnt expect her to be. she cannot make her own good decision. she keeps saying "coz she doesnt have any CHOICE" she is easily carried away with sweet words and boys are taking advantage of it. though, she says that "she can hadle it" , but it seems she can't.
she keeps on asking me to give her advices. i gave her the best i can give. i pushed her to take control and think well. i'm not saying she's dumb or anything, she's just WEAK. i can even say she's IMMATURE. never put to actions what come out to her mouth. SHE'S A HELL SELFISH!!! i hate to say it but that's what i think about her. she keeps listening to my advices but always follow where she think she alone can benefit.
im so damn tired of it! i wasted my time to someone who even doesn't deserve my time. now our friendship fades away. i am not like before who looks for her and reserve something for her. i cant waste time to those people who doesnt deserve my effort.
for me, it's very hard. i treated her like a sister and i had even compared her to my bestfriend. i introduced her to my family, who welcomed and who listened to her. i did a lot for her, for the friendship to last...
but i guess nothing last for a person who's self centered.
maybe that 7 months wasnt really enough let us get to know each other.
i am very hurt at this point. i was true throughout our friendship, but i've got to have the unfair share.
i did cry for her...
hope that when everything is clear for her...
my tears wont be a waste..Remeber This
Not signed nor dated but sealed with a kiss
These words that I wrote with my own hand
So when you read them, remember this
No one will ever understand
There's a secret I keep, a hidden pain
and it keeps me from dry land
It continues to run through my every vain
and no on will ever understand
Drama, rumors, lies and more
all this crap that I cant stand
trying to crack a window after every closed door
no one will ever understand
I hope your happy with the man you chose
I hope your life goes according to plan
There's something I've gotta say so here it goes
YOU will never understand
You'll never understand what I go through
You'll never understand how I feel
All I wanted was to be close with you
Now I've lost everything that was once real
I sacrificed my happiness for yours
and I took you by the hand
I cleaned up all your dirty chores
No one will ever understand
Not signed nor dated but sealed with a kiss
These words that I wrote with my own hand
So when you read them, remember this
YOU will never understand i tried helping you
Over the last three years I kept running back
Whenever you came back I opened you in
I never realized why I always did this
But now I realize where all the stuff begins
You see, I wanted to help you
I wanted you to be healed of your pain
I wanted to show you that I could help you
And that you weren't going insane
I wanted to show you of the past that hurt you
Men in your life that treated you like dirt
I wanted to help you get through all those hurtful years
And that is why I stopped all of the flirts
I really no longer cared about us getting together
I did not have those feelings for you anymore
I did love you like I should but I faked it
And I could never pull myself together to walk out the door
You see, the counseling side of me took over
I wanted to help you get over all of your past
So you could finally be happy and trust people
But there was so much junk and it didn't last
You were still in love with me
But I was just trying to help you
I was stupid for sticking around
When I knew that we were forever through
I know it's a stupid reason to stick around
But I hated seeing a friend hurt for so long
I wanted to assist you in getting healed
And I wanted to show you that you could be strong
So I am sorry that I stuck around through those years
I'm sorry that I never told you this a long time ago
I held on not because I loved you but because I felt guilty
There were so many things that I wanted you to know
I wanted to show you the hurt that you had about your dad
I wanted to show you the pain from your ex boyfriend
I wanted to be the one that could get you through it
But I realized that you are not close to letting yourself mend
So now I have chosen that I really need to walk away
Because you have a boyfriend that will fail again
You have so many trust issues that you are hiding
And I can no longer even call you a friend
