the ending of my 2008 was a disaster...
the beginning of my 2009 is an agony......
when we arrived home from rushed grocery, we made for the final preparations for the new year celebration. i arranged some ready to eat food and brought a pineapple for the 13th fruit as part of the superstition that my mom believes in. we call it the "new year palehe"
i went back to the shower and get dressed for the new year's mass at 9:00pm in the nearby church. my dad called when we just arrived from the church. we talked and greeted each other "Happy New Year!"
suddenly he told me that he'll spent the January with us..
i was shocked but i doubt it..
i told him that he is just playing jokes with me
and trying to fool me.
he sounded true and serious...
when my mom got to talk to him..
i was a distance away from them. i could hear my mom loud and clear. she mentioned "retrenchment" "going home" "the last salary" "bankruptcy" "another problem" "unlucky" "our debts"
it was very alarming..
as their conversation kept going, i knew my mom was keeping her tears from falling
trying not to worry my father and away from discomfort
as i see my mom tries to keep her eyes dry, i started to worry and then i just saw myself crying...
i was mad
i dont know to whom, but i was really mad.
my dad just went abroad last october 2008
having hopes for the payment of our debts and to give a brighter future for his children
and this "unexpected tragedy" happens!
its a big twist of fate
im very much worried for my mom, who suffers a lot for us. she budgets our money and deals with the people we had debts on
it's a hard job for her
and plus she takes care of us
before..
many times i saw her crying, losing her hope and feels so ashamed
its hard seeing her like that.
my dad's situation abroad is though, not yet finalized, he is caught up in a 50:50 position..
we may not know, some time later, he'll be knocking at the door saying "IM HOME;c!"
or mybe we'll recieve a call from him that he'll be staying for the job.
i dont know if i could hope for the betterment of our situation
or to stay mad with faith for messing our lives this way
