it's hell!
after the tragic past relationship i had month's ago, i desire to be in a brand new relationship. i have tons of crushes both outside and inside school campus and take note : "They are all my friends, they just dont know!"
i admit that i easily get infatuated with boys.
i really like boys who are
1.Gwapo! [pwde pud kanang madada ra!]
2. Different from other guys
3. My friends
4. extremely and insanely sweet
5. those who dont forget me [mutx jud and kanang kusug managad!]
6. those who are not there all the time [it makes me miss him. once a day may do]
7. COOL
8. those who are good but kinda mean.
i dont know why i am easily caught off-guard by boys. when i cant take the pressure of keeping my crush, then friends will soon know. It's just funny that when friends know, then i realize, ive got rivals!! bwahahaha!!!
but im not into competing or anything.
Now, i really like this certain guy. i had a crush on him on since the 1st semester but we're not friends yet. im just into admiring him. when we actually knew each other, i even admired him more. He is this quite but funny guy. His music describes him a lot. i look forward on seeing him on MWF's night. he doesnt talk too much about his life and intends to rejects when you ask him such questions. we're great friends, but we dont go out too much. i just see him during classes. i know, he has this complicated relationship with a girl and even admits that he is single.
last FRIDAY night.
i was with friends on a liquor drinking session. i was kinda drunk. he was beside me, and i was leaning on him. when he noticed that i cant take it anymore, he took my shots. he was holding me so tight. it was a moment i wished that never ended! when we finished, he was embracing me tight. waaaaaaaaahhh, i wished we never ended that night! i was on cloud nine!
i know, everything that happened that night will just stay on those corners of the beerhouse. but there is something in me, trying to picture out my life with that guy! and i know it's called "EXPECTING!" what's the difference between hoping and expecting?!!
im happy
but im
hurting
because of the huge questions
" do i really like that much?!"
" am i expecting for a relationship to bloom between us two?!"
" what would happen when we see each other next week?!"
" will everything that happened be forgotten?"
im in hell!
help!
