waaah.,
Etelecare just call me a while ago.,
I was editing my resume' when the phone rang.
It was a female caller.
She had great english accent
[NOSeBleed]
i have to speak english too to impress the employer.
i have this mixed emotions
i was happy.,
i was excited.,
i was nervous.,
i was shaking.,
i cant find the right words to tell!!
i felt i was going nuts!!!
She asked me tons of questions actually.,
but the conversation was short.
She asked me what she should call me
i told her
"you can call me Jesse"
"is it your first time to apply on a call center?"
"Yes, this is my first time"
"OK, in your resume', it says you're still studying. So what course are you actually taking?"
"im taking up Information Technology in University of Cebu"
"Good Course!"
i was already on hype!
really excited!
she then asked me.,
"so what year are you in now?"
"im an incoming 2nd year student, but i am a shiftee."
"how many years are you aldready in college"
"i studied at University of San Carlos for one sem
then i transfered to university of Cebu last June 2008, it makes a year and a half college experience"
"ok, hang on for a minute"
the phone the said
"tutut,tutut,tutut,tutut"
T.T
But the phone rang again.,
she told me
" im sorry for the technical error Jesse"
"It's ok"
"i talked to my supervisor here about you situtation, sad to say that we cant consider your application for now because your have not completed a 2 year college experience. But we will keep your application active and after 5 months we will surely call you."
the world put me down.,
i wanna cry!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
whew.,
its been 3 weeks since my last post.,
wadahill?!!
..i got too lazy..
where should i start?!
..END oF CLASSEs..
Well, classes just ended last week. i already settled my clearance and final projects. all i worry for now, is my GOD-DAMNED grades. Im not expecting my grades have improved, but more on hoping my grade would be settle on the passing grade. i dont want back subjects.,
for God's Sake!!
it's a big NO,NO,NO!!!!
on the other hand, my programming subject is assured "FAILED". i havent completed my last last project. A program that compiled all the activities we made through out the semester. i think i missed half of the activities.
IM in HELL!!
...The PEERS..
[eyescream]
i still go out with them.
recently we had a tribe outing at the beach just last March 21, 2009
it was a fun day.
Emorej courted me actually,
but i have to put him down.,
he's really not my type of guy
he is too matured..
Lem was different today.,
ive seen another side of him, which i like..
he cried because of his GF
ive not seen him REALLY CRYING
he was hiding under his towel.
we was also sweet that time.
he made me fuss
..REUNITED..
just last wednesday
i reunited with my USC classmates
we went to liloan for a swim.
hehehe.,
i was happy i was able to hang out with them once again.
seeing them again make me reminsce my days in USC
the Jesse they knew.,
totally different from Koki now.
i also met new people.
Victor, Balong and Jed
heheeheheh.,
...The Silent WaR...
my mom and i still dont do the normal thing
we dont talk to each other.,
her PRIDE LEVEL aldready surpass the maximum level!
well i dont rush things.,
i still do clumsy things at home.
i dont strive too hard to impress her
i dont pretend that i can be perfect.,
but im trying things on my own.
..SEEKing for The Right JOb...
im in desperate need of a job!!!
im have passed application forms to all near
Jollibee branches last friday.
Now im waiting for a call back.
i've been applying on Call Center online
and by tuesday i'll try walking in to the company.
its a tough job just going around the city looking for a job
but i have do it
my father have been unemployed for 3 months
and our money is draining
we still need to prepare for the coming enrollment this march
i need a job!!
SO much To Tell.,
But my nose is already bleeding.,
i cant find the right words anymore!!
TABANG!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
here comes another guy.,
ill name him "PAD" [giggling]
i never noticed him during the last semester. he was total unknown stranger for me.
i met him because of my friends. we text a lot at first. he was very much open and undestanding. He knows about my situation with my family and he gave some advices for me. Then, i just felt that he was different from others. actually., when we started texting, i never saw him. Just when he described himself then i knew he is my classmate in my Rizal class. We say Hi's and Hello's, but we never had a chance to sit and talk for awhile. He is a shy guy in personal. When we're together with some friends, he is just at the corner listening.
i told my friends that maybe i already like him, that im just infatuated with him. In my group texts, i always shout.out "just infatuation!"
Just last saturday, we were together with friends. Some friends teases me a lot, but i try no to be obvious. we had a chance to sit beside each other. Time flew so quickly, that i never noticed that we are already having sweet talks and that he was aldready holding my hand. i was leaning on him with his arms around me. He never touched anything just my belly. [harhahar] It was a sweet time. Then next thing i knew, he kissed me on the cheeks then on the lips. he was holding me so tight, like he never wanted to end that moment. i swear! i felt it!
the problem is.,
just the day after that,
we cant consider ourselves to be in a relationship.
i cant say yes because he never courted me.
it's bad for me to say yes without us talking about what we really have.
i try to avoid him.
i think he also does.
a friend told me that he said he doesnt want to be teased by friends. His not a type of person that wants attention and prefers to be on the dark corner.
i dont know if im hurt with this situation.
i dont know how i really feel.
i want to say to everybody that im pissed with this thing that is happening between us.
But im afraid that he might think that i just played with him.
But it would really hurt me if ill know that he just played with me.
[confused101]
Monday, March 9, 2009
uhmm.,
i really don't know what to say! i don't know how i exactly feel now-a-days. I've got this huge problem with my mother, being physically away from my old peers, the new bunch of people that i go along with and this fling2 with a guy.
for me, maybe i want to get out of the real world. i know im hurt, but i display a different aura. i want to be really tough, but deep inside im weak and dying.
for the past few days, specifically my drunk days, my parents already knew about what i do, but they dont know how i simultaneously do my studies and my bonds with friends. According to my father, my mom already new that i drink ever since i celebrated my 18th bday.
Last Saturday, March 07, 2009, my brother called me around 8pm to tell me that i need to go home right away and that my mother is waiting for me. He sounded as if im already in trouble. i was nervous on what will happen. i was very dull and immature to have thought not to go home. i went to my friend's place. i was ready to go to sleep. i recieved a text message and a call from my dad, asking me to go home. i pity my father. i love my father so much, that i decided to go home for his sake.
i got home, then i was slapped, kicked, punched and felt my hair was disappeared! my mother did it to me once again. i was quite at first, embracing all the pain and accepting my mistake. my mother never stopped yelling. she used many foul words like "Giatay ka", "Boang ka", "Ngano ni uli pa ma ka?", etc. then i didnt mean to talk back. i told her that she had always made me feel that im worthless and pathetic. i used foul words too.
My father, had been in between us. He was also physically hurt. i think, he had more bruises.
my mother took my 2 cellphones. i had no choice.
i went up to my room crying and yelling. My father was just standing in my door. i packed my things, but he said i need to calm down. And so, i listened to him.
he told me,
i dont have to think that i already knew everything and that i already knew my limitations, because the truth is im not old enough to know everything. He kept on comparing his and my mother's teen life to mine, which i really have to disagree with. He also mentioned, that in my age, i have reached the point that i want to explore and be free to make my own decisions. He said that it's normal, but i did it the wrong way.
he never mentioned that i was influenced by my friends. i was happy for that matter. he understood that i have to let go of things that only my friends should now. he respected my right to be angry to my mother, but disagrees to the fact that i have to curse her forever.
my father always mention that i have to adjust with my mother. she had tough times during her childhood and so she doesnt want me to experience what she have gone through. i totally disagree with it! my father had already adjusted to her character, but i dont think that my mother have done it vice versa. so what would you think? Its totally unfair, isnt it? now tell me, is it the right time for her to adjust to my character?! and that its my time to let go of some childlike rules?!
i know my parents have always wanted what's best for us, but there are times that they squeeze us into this tiny little space. i want to get out from that space. that's all i ever wanted.
it doesnt really mean that i really hate my mother. my father helps me to understand her even more. i know as thier daughter, i will always have to live by thier rules and discpline. i just want them to know that i am already a person who can mistakes and eventualy learn from it. that i am someone they could rely on and that im trustworthy.
___BaTTEred___
